We Can Do This

I generally believe I can get through just about anything as long as the end is in sight (as in kidney stones and childbirth), but this Coronavirus-inspired uncertainty is getting tough to handle. While Jesus is still scheduled to burst forth from the tomb on Easter, it’s looking like the doctors and scientists aren’t going release us for the day’s celebration. As one of my new heroes, Dr. Anthony Fauci, said recently, “You can look at a date, but you’ve got to be very flexible – on a literally day-by-day and week-by-week basis.” 

So how are you feeling? In the film, “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” Mr. Rogers explains: “We are trying to get the world positive ways of dealing with our feelings.” One way is to use a “mad – glad – sad – scared” approach. It’s a mnemonic, a pattern of words that helps us remember something. Let me channel Mr. Rogers a bit today to check in with you.

Anybody mad? Maybe you’re mad because you can’t go to work, or because you’re an essential worker while your spouse sits at home eating bon-bons as the kids tear up the house. Your wedding had to be postponed or you eloped. You lost money in the stock market. No senior prom, senior prank, or even graduation. Your basketball team was undefeated, and then the season was over on the brink of the play-offs (sorry, Ashland Eagles). You were going to the happiest place on earth and now you’re spending your magical spring break on quarantine in Ohio. Lots of reasons to be angry in these days of broken dreams.

How about glad? Remember the glad game from the Pollyanna movie? I you-tubed it (a new verb) and watched a miserable Aunt Polly trying to make Pollyanna just as miserable. Fighting hard against that sense of despair, Pollyanna tells of the glad game. She learned it when she wished for a doll and all that came in the missionary barrel was a pair of crutches. Her wise father taught her to be glad – glad that she didn’t need the crutches. 

I get it. It does help our mental health to look for the “glad” in our day, to reach for optimism. For many of us, our time is more flexible these days. We’re sharing a learning experience with our children, even though it may not be going all that well. Daffodils are blooming, and people seem friendlier even as we keep our social distance. As one friend reported, “At least I didn’t vomit today.” We can find snippets of glad, even in the worst situations.

We’re surely sad as well. Too many people are dying alone. As of Wednesday, the global death toll was over 20,000. That’s a lot of families in mourning. While less grievous, I’m sad being separated from the grandkids. Waving through the window as I drop off supper or clutching the phone as the sweet Emma Belle attempts to grab my face  – my heart weeps for these everyday pleasures that we can’t have just now. 

The fourth emotion is less talked about (at least out loud), but it’s here all the same. We are scared. Scared someone we love could die. Scared we could die. Scared we won’t be able to pick up the pieces financially when we finally get back to work, if there’s any work to go back to. Scared we could get evicted or face foreclosure. Scared that if we do get sick, we won’t be able to pay the hospital bill. Children and adults alike are afraid of the unknown, and there’s a lot of unknown in March 2020.

So how do we respond? We recognize and honor our feelings. We find positive ways to embrace them, while seeking peace, joy, comfort and courage. We cut ourselves – and each other – some slack. We ask for help. We get outside each day. And we discover new heroes, like Dr. Amy Acton, the director of Ohio’s Department of Health, as she shares her courage, “I am not afraid, I am determined,” her hope, “I do see us on the other side,” and her heartfelt plea: “Please help us.” We can do this.