Thanks for the Memories

I like to read the lists of the top stories of the previous year as reported on the pages of the local newspaper This year, I decided to make my own review of the remarkable accounts of 2013, with a bit of commentary tucked in alongside the headline. I’ll start with a recent story - the death of Nelson Mandela. I’ve never been to South Africa, but I’ve read his biographies and have a deep respect for the man and the role he played in the deconstruction of apartheid. Mandela taught the watching world a great deal about redemption and reconciliation, and we mourn the loss of Mandiba, the father of his nation. As he taught us, “to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

In November, we marked an anniversary of our own country’s sorrow, as fifty years have passed since the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the United States president who died before his true potential could be known. Growing up in the sixties, his untimely death was a painful rite of passage, and left us wondering about what might have been, with our hopes summed up in his own words: “So, let us not be blind to our differences - but let us also direct attention to our common interests and to the means by which those differences can be resolved.”

A third story of note happened closer to home, on the west side of Cleveland, where Ariel Castro imprisoned three young women for many years. A dramatic escape by Amanda Berry led to the rescue of the other two women, Michelle Knight and Gina DeJesus, as well as Berry’s young daughter. How could this happen right in our backyard, many asked? But Ashland had its own story of unlawful imprisonment that reached the national news, as pit bulls and snakes were used to threaten a disabled woman and her child into virtual slavery. What is our world coming to?

These heinous stories of captivity left me with little pity for the young man who became “a man without a country” due to his leaks of the National Security Agency’s confidential information taken without permission (stolen) from the United States. His actions sparked an intense international debate about privacy and national security, but perhaps we could have gotten to that discussion through another door.

It was also a year with some unexpected white smoke arising from the Vatican. In February, Pope Benedict XVI announced abruptly that he would retire, forcing the Catholic Church to choose a new pope in a hurry. Pope Francis has been quite a media sensation, and his words have been tweeted around the world. He recently said, “I dream of a church that is a mother and shepherdess.” My pastor’s heart can relate to that.

Like so many other years, it has been a dismal season for the Cleveland Browns, and while the Cleveland Indians made it to the playoffs, their sudden-death, win-or-go-home game turned a remarkable September run into a disappointing finale. But it was the Ashland University women’s basketball team that makes my list of memorable happenings for 2013. After a second place finish in San Antonio in 2012, Sue Ramsey and her Lady Eagles made it happen this year, bringing the national championship trophy home to Ashland, Ohio as the winners in the Division II NCAA tournament. Geography has not been kind to me when it comes to victorious sports teams, so I especially cherished the AU win on the national stage.

And for the final item on my top seven list (drum roll, please), the lovely Madelyn Simone has mastered the fine art of potty training. How can this rank right up there with world peace or racial reconciliation? Like jazz, as Louis Armstrong said, if you have to ask, you’ll never know. We sang the potty song, did the potty dance, and offered bribes of M&M’s and pretty princess panties, all to no avail. One day, she made up her mind, and that was that. Woohoo!

Segue to conclusion: thanks, 2013, for the memories. 

The Gifts of Advent

As a smitten grandmother to the lovely Madelyn Simone, I decided to add a distinctive touch to her fourth Christmas by preparing a basket of small gifts for the month of December so she can open one each day. They were accompanied by an Advent calendar so she can track the approach to Christmas. I realize that the concept of waiting a whole day before she can open another gift might be a bit difficult for her to grasp, but I also wanted her to get a ‘waiting’ sense of the days of Advent. 

On her first gift day, her mother explained that she’d be able to open one present each day as we waited for Christmas to arrive, and that she could look for the day’s present as soon as she finished her cereal. She complied well with that direction, gobbling down her Fruit Loops so she could get to her desired reward. She opened the first present, made the necessary oohs and aahs, and then requested more cereal. When she finished her second bowl, she told Lauren, “Now I get another present, right?” So much for the waiting lesson.

In our immediate access culture, delayed gratification is not easy. Credit card offers arrive in the mail daily, while fast food establishments pride themselves on having our drive-through meal ready in seconds. Need your tax refund now? Just get in line, and while “applicable fees apply” is definitely in fine print on those offers, most partakers don’t equate those fees with predatory lending practices, although the percentage of cost definitely fits that definition. As consumers, we are bombarded by the “buy now, pay later” theme that sends the message to us – “if you want it, it’s yours.”

Yet there remain times of waiting that we cannot hurry along. The budding of the leaves on the trees in the springtime.  The eagerness for a baby’s first step. The passing of a loved one from this world to the next. The  anticipation of the birth of a long-awaited baby (although we do push that some with scheduled inductions when the bun has been in the oven a day or two more than was expected).

The encounter with waiting also ties into an experience of faith. The gospel story of a babe in a manger that vies for attention with Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus, leg lamps, and the four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree, is a story of patience, of rhythm, of waiting. The scriptures describe it like this: “in the fullness of time.” Mary and Joseph awaited the anticipated birth as do all young parents, but the spirit of patient anticipation is best seen in the persons of Simeon and Anna, waiting in the temple for the consolation of Israel. Their patience echoes through the centuries in the plaintive chords of the ancient carol, “O come, O come Emmanuel.”

That same spirit of waiting was marked by the lighting of the Advent candles in my family’s home on the frosty Sunday evenings of my childhood. We’d sing a carol together, and then my dad would strike a match to symbolically welcome the light of the world into our living room, into our waiting hearts. As little ones, I’m not sure we quite understood what we were doing as we participated in that ritual of faith, impatient as we were for the arrival of the big man in the red suit. But that small flame still flickers in the recesses of my memory in the darkness of a December night, as those early seeds of faith were cultivated in the light of a circle of candles.

I’m not sure if I’ll repeat the Advent presents idea next year, and I doubt Madelyn and I will attempt another lopsided gingerbread house (another of my brilliant ideas).  But in the midst of the cookie-baking and gift-wrapping, I want to be sure that Madelyn and I pause to light a candle, sing a song, and tell of the story of the ages, steeped in faith and framed in the rhythm of eternity. Merry Christmas, Madelyn Simone. Merry Christmas, everyone.

 

 

Breath-taking Christmas Sweaters

“U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi.” That memorable phrase from the stellar film “Wildcats” kept tumbling through my mind as I attended an Ugly Christmas Sweater office party this week. If beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, then it stands to reason that ugly is in the eye of the beholder as well, and the attire of the party-goers attested to that truth.

It was a brilliant concept, for while most of the attendees work in the same building, they are separated by floors and departments, and the sweaters served as a natural icebreaker among those who didn’t know each other well. Fortunately, we were spared some of the more bizarre get-ups found on the ugly Christmas sweater websites, which, if you want to check them out, are located right next to the twenty-five adorable Christmas cat photos. Rather surprisingly, no one came as a matching pair of camels, dogs, or snowmen, nor did anyone wear a Christmas tree skirt. Whew!

I also discovered that an Ugly Christmas Sweater benefit in Kansas City has raised over $100,000 for charity since its inception in 2005. What a great idea. Perhaps Ev DeVaul and his United Way dream-it-up team will run with that one next year.

I had quite the dilemma as I tried to decide what to wear for this festive occasion. My daily dress for more than thirty-five years was navy blue and white, but at Christmas, I liked to top off my Salvation Army work uniform with a festive sweater for our nightly kettle counting parties. I’m ashamed to admit that I have an entire tub of Christmas finery – socks, scarves, pajama pants, and some pretty garish sweaters – and my prized “You’re going to shoot your eye out’ tee-shirt. Reviewing my choices for the party, I determined that if I ever need to stave off bankruptcy, I could auction off a few of my sweaters for the next ugly Christmas sweater event. Yes, I really did wear those once upon a time.

Now I’m afraid I will hesitate to choose a sweater from my collection the next time I need an extra dash of holiday spirit, in case someone might ask me if I’m on my way to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party. Note to self – don’t go there – if you begin to feel self-conscious, just replay the words  the lovely Madelyn Simone utters so often: “that’s so beautiful, Nana.”

Sometimes, in the midst of a life crowded with deadlines, drama, and duty, we need to pause and put on a Christmas sweater that’s over-the-top, bordering on the ugly side, a sweater that sparkles or shines, that brings a smile to the faces of those around us and keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. Sometimes we need to pause and make snow angels in the yard or sing along with Dave and the Chipmunks as they warble their way through a medley of carols.

I am grateful for the ugly yet beautiful sweaters of Christmas, but I’m also thankful for the more serious moments of celebration and warmth. I’ve loved these words from Bess Streeter Aldrich forever: “Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart . . . filled it, too, with a melody that would last forever. Even though you grew up and found you could never quite bring back the magic feeling of this night, the melody would stay in your heart always - a song for all the years.”

Here’s wishing you just the right blend of ugly sweater moments accompanied by the shawl of song-filled memories as you savor the days of Christmas 2013. And I promise that if I see you in a cheerful holiday sweater, I’ll refrain from bursting out in “don we now our gay apparel” or asking you if you’ve been shopping at Goodwill.  Instead, I’ll be sure to tell you how breath-taking you look! Merry Christmas to all!

Just One More Second

November 30, 2013 will go down in history as an unbelievable day in college football. For those who may not worship the gridiron gods, let me provide a snapshot. Football rivalries are part of the tradition that has surrounded the game since its inception. Growing up, it was the T-NT game, an aptly named contest that paired the Davidic Tonawanda High School with its Goliath-like enemy, North Tonawanda High School. Unfortunately, the Tonawanda Warriors seldom were able to defeat the bigger, stronger Lumberjacks, but they never gave up the fight.

Upon arriving in Canton, Ohio, we were introduced to the Massillon-McKinley battle , packing more than 20,000 fans into the stadium for a ferocious contest. It’s always a crazy week in Stark County, as each school vies for bragging rights that will last until the next November encounter.

And then there is The Ohio State University rivalry with the Michigan Wolverines, a classic matchup that stirs up emotion both on and off the field. Those high emotions were evident in the dust-up in the second quarter that resulted in the ejection of three players. That game came down to the last seconds, as Michigan scored a final touchdown and made the ill-fated decision to go for the win with a two-point conversion. Fortunately for the Buckeyes, destiny called their name, and the gutsy call failed to convert into points on the scoreboard. Dodged that bullet.

Not to be outdone by the drama in the Buckeye-Wolverine game, the Crimson Tide of Alabama attempted to roll over their worthy cross-state opponent, the Auburn Tigers. Ranked number one and number four in the nation, these teams passed the lead back and forth, and at the end of regulation time, the scoreboard indicated a tie game. Time for overtime, right? No, wait – could there still be one second left on the clock? Instant replay proved Nick Sabin right one more time, and instead of taking a knee or attempting a Hail Mary pass, Alabama sent on the field goal unit for a very long attempt. Loading up the line with the big guys to prevent a blocked kick, the Crimson Tide had failed to factor in the possibility of a missed field goal that could be returned for – you’ve guessed it – a touchdown, leading to one of the most bizarre conclusions to a rivalry game in the history of the sport.

To be sure, college football has its critics. It’s big money, big business, big television contracts. College should be about educating our young adults for the future, some tell us, not making money on the backs of its “student” athletes. Surely the learning that takes place in the lecture halls and chemistry labs is much more important than what happens on the football field, right?

I’m all for formal education, but I couldn’t help but notice the huge life lessons being played out in Ann Arbor, Michigan and Auburn, Alabama on Saturday afternoon. When the Michigan coach chose to go for two for the win, Dale Carnegie’s words supported his decision: “Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.” However, Buckeye Tyvis Powell reached in and grabbed the ball away from the intended receiver, proving that the words of wisdom from hockey great Wayne Gretzky translate from the ice rink to the football field: “Skate to where the puck is going to be.” Can you say O-H?

Other valuable life lessons were present in the Iron Bowl at Auburn. For Alabama coach Nick Sabin, what a difference a second makes. The coach was quoted as saying, “first time I lost a game that way,” proving that indeed, there’s a first time for everything. For Chris Davis, waiting in the end zone at the completion of the Auburn/Alabama game, the words of Abraham Lincoln speak volumes: “I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”

There’s one final life lesson (unfortunately all too familiar to Cleveland fans) that holds true in any kind of rivalry: “There’s always next year.” Just think, only 358 days until Michigan and Ohio State meet again. Can’t wait!