When my grandchildren were born, I added a descriptive word to the names given them by their parents. Thus we have the lovely Madelyn Simone, the delightful Elizabeth Holiday, the charming Henry Kyle, and the sweet Emma Belle. By the time Elizabeth was about six months old, I felt the need to add a second word to her description based upon her emerging character, and she became, quite appropriately, the delightful and determined Elizabeth Holiday.
Our Lizzie is now six, starting first grade, and living up to her name as she takes to the soccer field for the first time. Having attended her team’s first two games, I have my doubts as to their prospects for a winning season. The loudest cheers from our team’s sideline have come when our goalie successfully blocks the many shots that come his way, as (sigh) we are still waiting for our first goal at the other end of the field.
This past week, it was close to ninety degrees at game time, and the humidity was high as well. Some of Lizzie’s teammates were MIA, so her team had no substitutes. Whenever time was called, she staggered over to the sideline, where her trainers sprang into action (cue the music from Rocky). Her mother handed her the water bottle, her sister smoothed the hair out of her face and held a cold bottle to her neck, and her dad gave her an animated pep talk. If there was enough time, she grabbed a sweaty hug from her grandparents and headed back out to the field. By the start of the fourth quarter, she was exhausted, yet still she reached down deep for a well of energy and ran out to join her teammates one more time.
As a rookie, this is all new to Elizabeth, her first foray into competitive sports of any kind. Yet there is a determination in her, even a fierceness, that is impressive. She may not be the next Mia Hamm, but I’ll take her on my team any time. Plus, with her red cheeks and her bouncing ponytail, she is adorable.
Saturday mornings, on a soccer field behind Jackson High School, our granddaughter is learning tremendous lessons about how to live that will shape her values far into the future. But what is she learning? Will she learn to take direction, to listen to a person older and more experienced so she can learn about something new? Will she learn to trust her body, to get up when she’s knocked down (and drill that penalty kick), drawing upon her reserves when the going gets tough?
I wonder what she’s learning about being part of a team. Does she know that she can depend on them to have her back, or is she getting as frustrated as I am with a teammate who is counting the blades of grass while the ball sails by? At six, I’m not sure she can comprehend that not everyone has the same abilities, nor do they put in as much effort as she does (a good lesson to learn prior to group projects in third grade).
Youth sports, clarinet lessons, nature hikes and swimming instructions are not just “feel-good” activities to keep kids busy; no, according to researchers at The Search Institute, they provide vital building blocks called the Forty Developmental Assets, those preventative measures, positive experiences, and personal qualities that young people need to grow up to be healthy, caring and responsible. The more assets such as support, empowerment, positive value and identity that a child has, the higher the probability they will avoid being caught up in substance abuse, delinquent behavior, or dropping out of school.
As for our Lizzie, one day, when laboring to birth her first baby or taking the bar exam, perhaps she will remember these first soccer games, knowing there are people in her corner, cheering her on. She will innately understand that just as she reached down deep within herself and ran back onto the soccer field, so too can she face whatever challenge lies before her with courage and determination. Might this be so for all children.
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