Saving Face

The iconic music begins with the timpani’s introduction to Leo Arnaud’s “Bugler’s Dream,” followed by the brilliant chords of the trumpeters. Then, as composer John Williams describes, the enchanting and empowering notes of his “Olympic Fanfare and Theme” express the “struggle that ennobles all of us.” From the last days of July through the first week in August, the Olympic Games of 2021 provided hundreds of ennobling moments as athletes from around the world swam, ran, dove, hurdled, jumped, twisted and wrestled their way into the record books. 

 

We’re proud of our local ties to the games, as Ashlanders cheered loudly as AU alumni Katie Nagoette cleared the bar of the pole vault at 16’ 1” to claim gold for Team USA. In the high jump, Mutaz Essa Barshim of Qatar and Gianmarco Tamberi of Italy offered to share the gold medal after many jumps left them tied for the top prize. Simone Biles helped us understand the mental aspects of gymnastics, teaching us that “the twisties” are more than twist ties for the bread bag. And in a less-than satisfactory performance, Saint Boy turned out to be not much of a saint when the horse refused to make any jumps in the pentathlon, leaving German athlete Annika Schleu in tears. 

 

Speaking of tears, another Olympic story caught my attention, as it described the reactions of some of the Japanese athletes. Kenichiro Fumita, a Greco-Roman wrestler, sobbed after winning a silver medal: “I ended up with this shameful result. I’m so sorry.” As in, “I’m so ashamed because I’m not the best in the world, I’m only second-best.” Wow!

 

I tend to consider an athletic endeavor as shameful if I face-plant ten steps into a run around the block, not as “only” a silver medal in the Olympics. But for Fumita, not only did he lose the match; he also “lost face,” a public humiliation.

 

The concept of losing or saving face plays a large role in Chinese and Japanese cultures, but it’s also alive and well in the United States. I had an instance with a boss many years ago where a public disagreement led to his loss of face. In hindsight, I should have known better, not just to protect a fragile ego, but because it hurt our working relationship from that point on. Once lost, “face” is difficult to regain. It’s tempting to suggest the other person just “get over it,” but a perceived experience of shame or humiliation is not easily forgotten. Often, it becomes easier to reach towards revenge than forgiveness.

 

In her book, “Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust,” Maya Hu-Chansuggests that “face” represents a person’s self-esteem, reputation, status, and dignity. She  outlines a “BUILD” strategy that includes benevolence and accountability, understanding (seeing from another’s perspective), interacting, learning and delivery – walking the talk. Somehow, we must find ways to preserve dignity and respect for those we disagree with, thus “saving face” for both of us.

 

We live in a time when strong opinions rule. We feel passionately about the Indians and/or the Guardians, as well as mayo versus Miracle Whip, not hesitating to expound loudly on those preferences. To which we answer, “to each his own.” Live and let live.

 

Consider the concept of “saving face” in relation to the COVID-19 vaccination. Because of the politicized nature of the pandemic and the vaccine roll-out, many have taken a vocal position on the debate, using shame as a powerful tool. Within some camps, changing one’s mind on the vaccine is ridiculed. I wonder, with the increased contagion of the delta variant, might some unvaccinated people struggle with losing face if they decide to get the vaccine ? Instead of racking up mountains of hurtful exchanges with each other, could we call a ceasefire of judgement? No ridicule, no shame for changing one’s mind? Could we release our concerns over losing or saving face, and focus instead on saving life? If indeed the Olympics can symbolize the struggle that ennobles all of us, as composer John Williams believes, then might our battle against the Corona ennoble, honor, and dignify who we are as humans?