Won't You Be My Neighbor?

The recent Mr. Rogers documentary has left me singing his theme song, “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,” with its familiar tag line, “won’t you be my neighbor?” It’s a question many are considering in this rather tumultuous world, often with a sense of nostalgia for the 50s and 60s, where life centered around the neighborhood in ways that have seemingly disappeared from contemporary culture. 

In chatting with a friend, we wondered, “what happened to the sense of neighborhood we remember from our childhood?” In response, I made a couple of guesses. The most common answer in Family Feud style would be that women entered the paid workforce and no longer were at home. But I also thought about the difference it made when a household got its second car. Once a family could go in two different directions, there was seemingly little to hold them to life in the neighborhood.

My other guess was that air conditioning was installed in many homes. With the advent of AC, there was no need to open the windows, let alone go outside, thus providing little opportunity to even see our neighbors. Those of us of a certain age miss the nights when the kids would play tag, kickball, and SPUD until the streetlights came on. Now, as I said way too many times this summer, “I don’t want to go outside – it’s too hot!” And the mosquitos . . .

Other answers include our changing lifestyles, the role of social media (it get blamed for a lot these days), and a fear of the unknown. Brian Bethune offers this warning: “The evolving modern definition of a good neighbor is no longer someone who is part of your life, someone you chat with over the fence, a reliable shoulder in good times and bad, but someone who doesn’t bother you, either in your enjoyment of your home or by threatening its property value.”

Despite Bethune’s words, there is something about being a good neighbor that still calls to us, even in 2018. Why? For one, it’s good for us. Susan Pinker explains how humans need face-to-face contact, just as we need air and water. Those who are “surrounded by a tight-knit group of friends who regularly gather to eat – and, crucially, to gossip – live an average of fifteen years longer than loners!”

Good neighboring can also improve our neighborhoods. If we know each other, we’ll watch out for each other, lend out a lawnmower, report suspicious activity, or deliver a casserole when the new baby arrives or grandma dies. 

As a final motivation, there is a spiritual connection to neighborliness. As Fred Rogers said, “I believe that appreciation is a holy thing--that when we look for what's best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time. So in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we’re participating in something sacred.”

To help us become better neighbors, Park Street Brethren Church is hosting a conversation on Wednesday, September 26^that 6:30 p.m. entitled “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” I’ll be joining Donna Thomas, who coordinates community outreach for Park Street, as we look at ways we can be better neighbors – without turning off our air-conditioning! Rumor has it that there will be fresh-baked cookies to encourage our discussion. Check with Park Street for more information and come along.

Also in Ashland, beginning September 18, Ashland University will host a series on the topic “Who is My Neighbor?” There’ll be lectures, a film, panel discussions, and a book discussion, with details on their website. These sessions will take the discussion of neighbor beyond the end of our block to wrestle with the age-old question: who is my neighbor?

A recent study in the United Kingdom discovered that nearly a third of its 2000 respondents could not pick their neighbor out of police line-up. I could identify everyone on my block when I was ten, but today? Not so. As Mr. Rogers describes, I’m ready to participate in something sacred, so it’s time to visit my neighbors. Maybe I’ll bake a batch of my Aunt Annamae’s sugar cookies to take along!