Nepotism or Family Ties?

More than three decades ago, Larry and I were blessed with a husband and wife team as pediatricians for our young sons. Ashland had its own long-time physician couple in Drs. Henry and Vera Chalfant, and currently, Drs. Danielle and Doug Raber work in the same medical practice.

Family connections are common in many professions, such as medicine, the military, the practice of law, law enforcement, and education. A similar thread runs within ministry, as sons and daughters often follow in the sacred footsteps of their parents. Clergy couples are also becoming more evident, a role Larry and I were fortunate to share, as the doors to ordination have opened wider for women in recent years. 

Government, public service, and politics can also be a “family business.” Historically, royal families ruled countries for generations, with majesty and authority being transferred based upon blood lines, with little consideration for the actual ability of the heir to govern. Many still remain enchanted with the United Kingdom’s royal family, as interest has surged with the upcoming marriage of Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle. 

Certain American families have brought a dynastic flavor to our country’s politics as well, with the early father-son presidential team of John and John Quincy Adams, and the more recent examples of the Kennedy brothers and offspring, and the Bush political lineage. As in other fields, it’s no surprise when a child follows in the footsteps of a parent’s achievement – just look at the potential awaiting the sons of Shaq and LeBron.

But I’m not sure we’ve figured out what to do with married couples whose lives overlap with political ambition. In the twentieth century, the expectations for a political wife were unspoken yet clear, and Barbara Bush fulfilled them well. Upon her recent death, her son, former president George W. Bush, wrote: “Barbara Bush was a fabulous First Lady and a woman unlike any other who brought levity, love, and literacy to millions.” Sesame Street responded as well: “Barbara Bush and Big Bird shared more than the same initials – they shared a love of friends and family, of teaching children their ABCs, of helping others, and a generosity of spirit.” The consensus: Barbara Bush fit the role of FLOTUS well.

But in the twenty-first century, norms are changing. While best evidenced in Hillary Clinton’s campaign for the presidency, the Clintons are not alone in their role as a political power couple. Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell is married to Elaine Chao, a former Secretary for Labor and current Secretary for Transportation. Mercedes Schlapp, the director of strategic communications at the White House, and husband Matt Schlapp, chair of the American Conservative Union, both lean quite right, but do disagree at times. Following what Mercedes saw as a campaign faux pas by her husband near election day in 2016, she called him out with this message: “You’re benched.” Apparently they’ve worked that out. 

One exception to the assumption that married couples in D.C. should stay on the same side of the aisle is the Matalin/Carville romance. James Carville was instrumental in Bill Clinton’s victory over George Bush in 1992, who had been assisted in his campaign by Mary Matalin. Despite their obvious political differences, they married the next year, and have found ways to make the marriage and their careers work.

Is it possible to see the partners in a marriage as two separate people? Can Kelly Anne Conway’s husband George express less-than-flattering opinions about her boss on Twitter without her job being endangered? Should contributions made to Jill McCabe’s campaign be criticized because she was married to an FBI agent? 

With nearly 60% more women running for the House and Senate this year compared to the 2016 election cycle, it’s time to allow individuals to rise and fall on their own accord, regardless of gender, marital status, or family ties. Yes, it’s complicated. Yes, perception often matters as much as reality. But if educators, physicians and lawyers can avoid sensitive pillow talk, separating their professional lives from their marriages, so can political spouses. 

With that sorted out, we can make plans to watch the royal wedding, two weeks from today. Can’t wait to see THE DRESS!