Plucking the Goose: Tax Reform

Writing in “The Political History of the Devil” in 1726, Daniel Defoe said, “Things as certain as death and taxes, can be more firmly believ’d.” Later, in a 1789 letter, Benjamin Franklin noted, “Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency, but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

Unless we are high fliers in the financial world, we seldom give much thought to the subject of taxes until it’s time to file our tax returns each year. We may stare wistfully at our pay stubs, wishing fewer dollars were withheld from our earnings, but today, we’re more concerned about the odds of the Browns winning a game this season, or finding out how Jack died on “This is Us.” Taxation is inevitable, so why lose sleep in November over taxes?

However, in the days leading up to the April 15^th deadline for filing our tax returns, I do have varied reactions: procrastination as I contemplate the unwieldy task, a loud and long whine as I collect the needed information, and a sigh of despair, when I realize how “bigly” my payment check needs to be. I’ve also been dazed and confused as I work my way through the dreaded forms, especially navigating the world of self-employment taxes. I should therefore be glad this month’s proposed tax reform will simplify that dreaded duty, right?

As one of our parishioners used to repeat in the middle of our sermons back in Canton, “Nope, nope, I don’t think so.”

First, I have my doubts that the IRS will end up simplifying anything, regardless of what tax plan is passed. That capacity is not in their DNA.

Secondly, I’m not happy they’re proposing changes that will negatively impact my family. We’ve got a teacher – no deductions for the classroom supplies she buys every week? No deduction for mortgage interest? Student loan interest? Local and state taxes? Moving expenses? These are deductions we’ve taken over the years, thus reducing our tax burden a bit. Will the other changes really offset those savings?

And what about the families of our community? Ashland University is an important employer here, and historically, its salaries have been a bit lower than other employers because it provided a tuition benefit for family members. These tuition waivers are slated to be taxed, as are stipends paid to graduate students at universities across the country. My young friend from a working-class family just began a doctoral program in psychology. Will he be able to continue? Not if he has to pay more in taxes than his cash income.

Yet the whole idea of taxes isn’t just about how it will impact us as individuals. Ever since an incredible tea party in Boston Harbor nearly two and a half centuries ago, our country has demanded representation in deciding how to fairly and effectively tax our citizens. We understand the need to pool our money to pave the streets, to care for the most fragile among us, and to keep us safe, but we want a say in it.

Sorting out taxes is never simple. The animated Disney movie “Robin Hood” offers two perspectives. The ruling Prince John boasted, “Taxes! Taxes! Beautiful, lovely taxes.! Ah-hah! Ah-hah!” Sir Hiss, his henchman snake, responded: “Sire, you have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor.” Prince John replied: “To coin a phrase, my dear counselor, rob the poor to give to the rich.”

Robin Hood took the opposite position philosophically when Little John asked, “You know somethin’, Robin. I was just wonderin’, are we good guys or bad buys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin’ the rich to feed the poor. Robin Hood answered: “Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That’s a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.” Little John replied: “Borrow? Boy, are we in debt.”

The seventeenth century French statesman, Jean Baptiste Colbert, described the fine art of taxation as “plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing.” As the plucking continues in Washington, that’s an image I won’t easily forget.