With our son Dan’s wedding to Becky Ott now in the history
books, I continue to be a wedding voyeur, often scrolling through photos of
people I don’t even know just to look at the gorgeous pictures of a dream-come-true
day. Contemporary weddings are a far cry from those of previous generations, at
least in most families. My parents got married in the parsonage, with a corsage
and a handful of family and friends in attendance. While Larry and I had a
lovely wedding, surrounded by family and friends, I couldn’t tell you what the
centerpieces looked like (not my strong suit).
Not so today’s weddings. Some choose destination weddings,
getting married on the beach in Aruba or at a ski resort in the hinterlands, at
the zoo or a museum. Others decide on a theme wedding related to a shared
interest. In my stalking, I’ve seen pictures of a Harry Potter wedding, a
Walking Dead wedding, a number of Disney-inspired weddings, a football wedding,
and even a WWE extravaganza. I’m glad Dan, Dan, the wrestling man didn’t see
the pictures from Leah and Patrick’s WWE-inspired wedding. With Wedding Mania
save the date cards, a ring announcer DJ, and the wrestling belts worn by the
groom and his entourage, they may have gone a bit overboard.
Back in the day, couples generally got married in a
church, usually the one the bride grew up in. Now, many couples are opting for
a one-location wedding and reception. Becky had always dreamed of a wedding in
a barn, and when she first talked about that idea, all I could picture was bridesmaids
in cowboy boots sitting on bales of hay, waiting for the square-dancing to
begin. Yee-haw! I’ll admit my first reaction wasn’t overly positive.
But the venue they found in Westerville, while
structurally a barn, had amenities such as indoor bathrooms, air conditioning,
and even the flower girls’ favorite, an elevator. And no hay! It was the
perfect place for what Becky describes as a rustic wedding. I agree with that
description, but it was so much more than that. Encircled by twinkling white
lights, we were offered powerful reminders of what our children value most:
their heritage, a sense of community, their family and friends, and their
faith.
While all but one set of the couple’s grandparents are
gone now, their presence through photos spoke of the heritage of love and
commitment given to these two young people. Dan pledged his vows to his beloved
with a photo of his grandparents pinned inside his vest, close to his heart,
and danced with his misty-eyed mother to his grandparents’ favorite, “Begin the
Beguine.” And Becky’s grandparents Kip and Carol danced together as a precious
reminder of what fifty years of faithfulness in marriage looks like.
The bridal cake, cupcakes, and cookies (sunglasses, Camp
NEOSA logo, and coffee mugs) were created by a family friend who operates Sugar
Arts Bakehouse. The pulled pork and yummy sides came from our local favorite,
Belly Busters. Ashland’s own Kelly Knowlton and Scott Williams sang and played
guitar for the ceremony, while our friend Neil Ebert and a sizzling ensemble
from the KC Big Band provided toe-tapping music for dancing. Yes, community at
its best.
With the gracious support of Doug and Debbie Cooper, the
young couple carefully selected the components of the wedding ceremony and
reception to reflect who they are and what they want their marriage to be. As
they washed each other’s feet, they imaged what Dan Allender describes as a
successful marriage: “one in which two broken and forgiving people stay
committed to one another in a sacrificial relationship in the face of life’s
chaos.” Yet even that sacramental moment was bathed in joy, as we caught a
glimpse of Dan’s colorful Star Wars socks being wrestled back on his damp feet.
What matters in life? With the threat of sounding like a
broken record to long-time readers, our children’s wedding day served as a powerful
symbol of those priorities: the role of faith, the gifts of community, and the
love and support of family and friends. These are shared values that can give
any marriage, indeed, any community, a firm foundation.
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