Wedding Bells!

It’s time for this week’s column, and I’ve got lots of ideas to write about, such as the current success of the Tribe, the renaissance of Cleveland, and Circling the City with Love. I also wanted to write about The Salvation Army’s care for first responders during the RNC, with a shout-out to my husband for his faithful service. But instead, I must turn to our family life for this week’s column, because my baby boy is getting married today.

In one of my first columns for the Ashland Times-Gazette, I wrote of my anxiety over choosing a dress for my firstborn’s wedding, and how I ended up with navy blue (same hue as my Salvation Army uniform), although with an added touch of bling. That was then, in 2008, and this is now. As the old Virginia Slims tag-line witnessed, “You’ve come a long way, baby,” because my dress for Dan and Becky’s wedding shimmers with color!

It’s been almost two years since I first met the future Mrs. Shade. She was the chief counselor at Camp NEOSA in Carrollton, and had just taken care of a sick child on a hot and humid night, leaving an unpleasant odor lingering in the air. Yet under those less-than-ideal circumstances, I could see her compassionate spirit in action, and her dazzling smile told me everything I needed to know about her budding love for our son.

I’ve enjoyed watching their relationship develop, as they’ve navigated and negotiated the path to this day. They first met in their freshman year at Mount Vernon Nazarene University, but that didn’t go so well. A serendipitous change of plans for Dan in the summer of 2014 brought them together again, and the rest is history.

They have built their relationship and planned their wedding in a deliberate and thoughtful manner, not surprising for a young man who has always kept his DVDs (and ours) in alphabetical order. It seems only fitting that he is marrying Rebecca, Queen of Lists.

As I think about the act of two people joining together in marriage, I realize how courageous it is. I’m not sure of the exact wording of the vows they will repeat to each other, but the traditional words of “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death us do part” are challenging. How do we ever keep those vows?

Lewis Smedes suggests that we do so with a commitment that is “reborn each day by our reliable presence, renewed by acts of care, resurrected by generous forgiveness.” He continues: “Committed love is a paradoxical power, because it is a power to surrender. . . Committed love is a power to surrender our right to get what we desire so that the person we love can get what he or she needs. When my desire conflicts with your need, I will opt for your needs - if my love is committed love.” There’s some unsolicited advice for you, Becky and Dan.

They’ve also discovered the truth of the ancient text from Ecclesiastes 4:12. “If one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” This image of the threefold cord symbolizes the weaving of faith into their relationship. If marriage is defined as two becoming one, then how much stronger will it be as the third cord of God’s presence is braided into their marriage.

When awaiting Dan’s birth, I wondered if my heart could stretch enough to fully love a third child, for we’d been a family of four for six years. Yet it didn’t take long for that little one to claim my heart – probably about two minutes. That expansive ability of love has welcomed Lauren as a beloved daughter-in-law and has been smitten with the lovely Madelyn Simone and the delightful Elizabeth Holiday. Now, today, we make it official. There’s room for one more. Welcome to the family, Rebecca Elizabeth Ott Shade. As I used to sing Ernie Rettino’s words to your precious husband every night, “We’re glad that you have come to share your life with us!”