From Bubble Guppies to The Help: Messages We Approve

The lovely Madelyn Simone came to visit this week – what fun! We made waffles, read books, played outside and splashed in the bathtub. It’s great to be a grandmother! We managed to keep the television viewing to a minimum, but we did have to watch Bubble Guppies, enjoying the episode where they get a Bubble Guppy Puppy – try saying that 5 times in a row. We’ve come a long way since our days of cuddling on the couch and watching Say Yes to the Dress all morning!   

During this visit, I was especially aware of the messages she’s being bombarded with at the ripe old age of 2 ½.  Yes, I did spare her the 1 billion dollars worth of messages approved by the presidential candidates, but even Bubble Guppies is bookended with child-focused advertising – cereal, Barbie dolls, and yes, a Bubble Guppies fan club! I will admit, I do like the Bubble Guppies, as Molly and friends bring a rhythm and curiosity to pre-school learning that’s contagious. If you hear me asking “what time is it?”, be sure to answer “It’s time for lunch.” But I have maintained my self control and resisted the urge to join the fan club – at least for now.

So what other messages is Madelyn hearing? Should I worry about them? After all, she’s too young to understand, isn’t she? Should I be concerned about the talking cash register that asks, “will that be cash or credit, Princess?”  What is she soaking in?

When we travel back and forth to Canton, even before she’s buckled into her car seat, Madelyn asks, “Songs?” She’s ready for the Wee Sing CDs, now a staple of our time in the car. The nursery rhymes and songs are classics, many that I learned as a child, sang to my sons, and now sing along with Madelyn.  Even in these silly songs she learns about consequences. If you’re one of the little monkeys, you may fall off and bump your head – and in at least one version, “that’s what you get for jumping on the bed!” Another speaks to the danger of sticking your head in a little skunk hole – not good.

Then there are the messages that work their way through the movies that are billed as children’s fare. Some say, ‘this is what boys look like, this is what girls look like,’ while others have really sad or scary scenes. Madelyn is enraptured with Finding Nemo and Despicable Me, but both films raise issues of loss and abandonment, as do many of the timeless fairy tales. Is she ready for that?  

So what’s a parent, a grandparent to do?  We can use discretion in what we allow the kids to watch on TV and in the movies, and as the children get older, we can talk about the messages they hear and see throughout their day. But we can’t raise our kids in a bubble, keeping them totally protected from the world around them.

If you’ve read the book or seen the film The Help, “you is kind, you is smart, you is important” echoes long after “the end.” Aibileen Clark works as a maid for a woman who doesn’t have much time for or interest in her young daughter, Mae Mobley. So as often as Aibileen can, she reminds the little girl that she is kind, smart and important, reinforcing a sense of worth that she is not receiving from her emotionally distant mother. Now, Lauren and I are deliberately using those words with Madelyn and adding a few of our own, pouring into her our vision for the girl she is growing into and the woman she will become.

 

We can wring our hands in frustration over the power of the messages that inundate our kids’ lives, but we can also take matters into our own hands to make sure that our children, grandchildren and the kids in our community hear the alternate messages that we choose for them. Say them with me. You will not be abandoned. We care about you. You are kind. You are smart. And yes, you are important.