You're Fired

My friend Larry spent many years as a camp director, and tells of the summer when he had to fire his dishwasher. Pots and pans had been disappearing from the kitchen, and one day, the culprit was caught red-handed, hiding a dirty pan under the porch of the kitchen because he didn’t want to wash it. Busted! Years later, when that same kitchen was being renovated, more crusty pots and pans were discovered in the dropped ceiling. You can’t make this stuff up!

It happens to the best of us. I know a few pastors who got fired from summer camp for a knuckleheaded prank, and they’ve lived to tell the story. David Blatt got fired when the Cavs were 30-11, because of “a lack of fit with our personnel and our vision.” Anybody remember a young coach named Bill Belichick and his Valentine’s Day termination?

The language speaks for itself. Fired. Terminated. Laid off. Getting the boot. Kicked to the curb. Shown the door. Being let go. Retrenched. Eliana Johnson and Matthew Nussbaum suggest a recent addition with a bit of a twist: “getting Tillersoned.” “Kept in a state of perpetual limbo,” knowing you could be kept around indefinitely or terminated at a moment’s notice. Now we can add “getting McCabed” – getting fired from the FBI hours before retirement. No “thank you for your service” gold watch. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out. Oh, and that pension you earned, in those twenty-one years of FBI employment as you put your life on the line for our country day in and day out. You can forget about it. (Hopefully the report of his loss of pension is fake news).

It’s a risk we all take, and it’s not only associated with D.C. In the height of the recession, employers were known to hire through a temp agency, and when the worker reached day eighty-nine, they got fired, and the promised transfer to the company’s payroll never took place. With plenty of people waiting in the wings for their job, even though their work had been satisfactory, the factory didn’t have to offer them any benefits and could start over with someone new.

There are some hedges against rampant firings for no reasons. Union contracts can provide some protection. Complaints can be filed with the EEOC or the NLRB. Unemployment insurance might give temporary financial support if a firing is not justified. But unless we work for ourselves, most of us are at some risk of losing our jobs.

J.K. Rowlings got fired for writing fiction on company time. Steve Jobs got fired from the company he started. Walt Disney was fired because he “lacked imagination.” Julia Childs was fired for gross insubordination. Oprah was unfit for television news. Madonna squirted jelly all over a customer on her first day at the donut shop. And my favorite – Lucille Ball was fired for forgetting to put the banana in the banana split!

It’s easy to say, “look how well they did despite being fired.” And there is some truth in that sentiment. Getting fired doesn’t have to be the end of our world, although it may feel that way in the moment.  

We may agree or disagree with the politics of the people who’ve been fired in recent months, but still, these are people whose families have been devastated, as their personal sacrifices have been dismissed and their reputations sullied and stained. They deserve better than to be fired by tweet in a moment of public ridicule, their last days of public service immortalized by a Saturday Night Live skit.

After being fired, FBI assistant director Andrew McCabe finally spoke out: “I have always prided myself on serving my country with distinction and integrity, and I have always encouraged those around me to do the same. Just ask them. To have my career end in this way . . . is incredibly disappointing and unfair. But it will not erase the important work I was privileged to be a part of, the results of which will in the end be revealed for the country to see.” For his sake, and for ours, I hope he’s right.