Tax Day Rant

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed here are my own. Phone the friendly people at the IRS for tax advice.

Federal income tax was first imposed upon the citizens of the United States during the Civil War. Those earning between $600 and $10,000 were taxed at the rate of 3%; those above $10,000 ($272,800 in today’s dollars if I multiplied correctly) at a slightly higher rate. It wasn’t until the ratification of the sixteenth amendment in 1913 that this practice was fully authorized: “The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.” Did they foresee the day when “Americans will collectively spend more on taxes in 2017 than they will on food, clothing, and housing combined” (taxfoundation.org)?

Yes, I’ve been spending too much time on irs.gov in recent days. Here’s their explanation: “Numerous modifications have been made to the United States tax system over the years. This holds especially true with income tax, which is a relatively volatile tax. And although many changes are sure to affect tax laws in the future, it is safe to say that income tax is here to stay.” Oh, goodie!

The income tax is a volatile tax? As in “liable to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse,” or as in, “those trying to fill out the forms may become volatile”?

I’ve gone on Tax Day rants before, but does anyone else feel the pain? I know, I should bite the bullet and hire someone to professionally prepare my taxes, but it’s a matter of principle for me. Why should a middle class American, even one with a teeny-tiny small business, pay someone else (or a heartless computer program) so she can pay her taxes?

Yet when I get to the part when I write the check, I wonder: did I do this right? Did I miss a deduction? Turbo Tax lists ten strange but legitimate federal tax deductions, including boat repairs for whaling captains (outlawed unless you’re Native American), cosmetic surgery for adult entertainment business professionals, clarinet lessons if you have an overbite, and moving expenses for your pet. Good news for #45 if he brought a dog to the White House. With all those possibilities, why can’t I save a buck or two?

And then there’s city taxes. Initially, it appears simple. People living in Ashland pay 1.5% of their income (with some exceptions) to City Hall for 2016, going up to 2% in 2017. It’s a regressive tax, which if I remember high school economics correctly, means it doesn’t matter if you’re poor or rich, you pay the same rate. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, right? Except if you work in another city, or in numerous cities, they want a piece of the pie too. So your employer withholds taxes based on the rate from your work city, which your residence city gives you credit for, but only a certain percentage of credit, and you have to do the math.

If, like our son and daughter-in-law, you live in Columbus, the rate is 2.5%, the privilege of getting stuck in traffic on I-71. But if you’re a non-resident employee who worked some days outside the city, you can attach a list of vacation days, holidays, and sick leave days, as well as your federal 2106 form and Schedule A, and they might cut you a break. I’m getting a migraine just thinking about it.

Here’s my beef: I have a doctorate, earned, not honorary. Granted, it’s not in tax preparation, but I should be able to complete our tax returns without resorting to caffeine drinks, cussing, or hair-pulling. Yet I shouldn’t complain. Our government sustains thousands if not millions of tax preparer jobs through its complicated tax structure, keeping the unemployment rate down at least through April.

Looking for good news? Tomorrow is Tax Freedom Day. On April 23, Americans as a whole have worked long enough to pay our taxes for 2017! Maybe I’ll splurge on a massage or tattoo, or a large Pepsi at the drive-through, throwing in a few more cents for the governor. It’s party time!