Socks or Underwear

I’m the kind of person who tends to pick up Christmas gifts throughout the year, tucking them away for December giving (and sometimes forgetting where I put them). When I pulled my stash out of the cedar chest the other day and sorted them out by recipient, it was no surprise that the most bounteous pile was for the lovely Madelyn Simone. At almost seven years old, she’s just so much fun to shop for. I don’t have as many gifts for the delightful Elizabeth Holiday, but that’s mostly because I have reached my limit as to how many Peppa Pig videos I can possibly watch with her.

Yet I’m struggling a bit to find the perfect gift for other family members (please don’t tell my husband). I don’t want to repeat my mother-in-law’s infamous re-gifting of her late husband’s underwear to her beloved son. Like most of us, Larry had been taught to be grateful for any gift given to him, but that was a tough one.

When my father was still alive, he was hard to buy for as well. When we asked what he wanted, he’d always say, “socks and underwear,” but that wasn’t a very thoughtful or creative gift. One massive fail was the year my mom bought him a cigarette lighter engraved with his initials, just a week before he quit smoking cold turkey. It’s the thought that counts.

Dad was difficult to buy for because he had a rule we were required to follow: his gifts had to be made in America. He was the Carpenter’s Union #369 president for many years, and believed strongly in the AFL-CIO, along with products made in America. Even as a young woman, I was a determined bargain-hunter, and often found the U.S.-made items to be more expensive as well as hard to find. Couldn’t I just cheat a little?

I thought of my dad as my friend and I wandered through the mall last weekend. I got excited when we found a bottle of hand soap in a smiling snowman container, made in Wharton, New Jersey, only a few miles from the birthplace of our two older sons. But as we looked at the clothing that filled rack after rack, the tag would tell the tale. Expensive brands and discount brands, all made in China, Honduras, Viet Nam, Bangladesh, fashioned for pennies on the dollars that an American worker might have expected.

According to the American Apparel and Footwear Association, my father was not alone in his desire to purchase goods made in the U.S.A. Even though 97% of the clothing purchased in the United States is imported, “there was a continued resurgence of the U.S. apparel manufacturing industry in 2015.” Their figures report that U.S. production rose for the sixth consecutive year in 2015, the highest market share since 2008 – 2.7% of the U.S. market.

While I believe in buying American when I can, here’s the struggle: I still want my bargains. I’m not willing to pay a premium for a pair of gloves or pajamas because they’re “homegrown.” I finally turned to my friend and said, “It’s tough having a social conscience.”

Despite my dad’s example, I haven’t made the commitment to buying only American. And when I do purchase items manufactured overseas, while I’d like to say I’m eating only Free Trade chocolate, or purchasing all my gifts from Trades of Hope or Others (international organizations helping women in difficult circumstances), that’s not true either.

I consider myself a responsible person. I recycle. I donate to charity. I support United Way. Yet as my shopping habits illustrate, my values don’t always translate into consistent behavior.

I suppose that’s true for many of us – not the shopping, but the values. We pick and choose our battles, allowing our idealism to succumb to practicality, habit, exhaustion, or compromise. Despite our best efforts, life remains complicated, not black and white.

Whether it’s Fair Trade, Made in America, or “on clearance,” I hope the gifts I’m choosing with both love and angst will bring joy to the recipients. And if the guys don’t like the underwear, re-gifting describes the gift that keeps on giving. Happy retailing!