Gentler, Kinder

From 1990 to 1995, Larry and I were responsible for the operations of the Salvation Army center located at 6000 Hough Avenue in Cleveland. It was a bustling place, with a large day care center, gym, roller rink and pool, and often showcased the Army’s services to potential supporters or visiting dignitaries. One afternoon, we got a call from our administrative headquarters that Mrs. Marilyn Quayle, the wife of the Vice President of the United States, would soon be visiting.

What a whirlwind experience. We went on a cleaning spree, wanting to put our best face forward for Mrs. Quayle. Secret Service agents and local police paid an advance visit to scope out the site, and even placed a sharp-shooter in the second floor of a house across the street from the center during her appearance. As she toured the facility, chatting with our pre-schoolers and greeting staff, we were proud to share in a special moment in the history of the Hough Center and neighborhood.

Just this past week, Majors Paul and Alma Cain, leaders at the Salvation Army Ray and Joan Kroc Corps Community Center in Camden, New Jersey, received a similar call (or e-mail). Not the VP’s wife, not the VP, not the First Lady – no, they went right to the top, for POTUS himself was coming. President Barack Obama wanted to highlight the work of community policing in Camden, where the crime rate has been reduced and relationships between police officers and area residents have improved considerably. Holding Camden up as a symbol of promise for the nation, Mr. Obama suggested that “this city is on to something.”

What a great day for Camden, a city that has suffered more than its share of crime and poverty in recent years. And what a great day for the Salvation Army, with a visit from the President of the United States. A day to stand with pride for what has been accomplished in a tough place, a day for handshakes and selfies, and a huge sigh of relief when the motorcade pulled out of the parking lot.

Yet even before the president’s driver had time to adjust the rearview mirror, the naysayers were at work, suggesting that Obama doesn’t know what he’s talking about when it comes to the police or the problems of race or poverty. The New York Times reported that some law enforcement officials felt, “Mr. Obama had a chip on his shoulder when it comes to the police.” Social media posts ranged from critical comments on policy to vicious personal attacks.

The Salvation Army also garnered criticism in the social media world for providing a platform for Mr. Obama’s position on social issues. Some went as far as to point out that evil was working through the President, warning the Army to distance itself from him.

Whatever has happened to the respect for the office of President, or Governor, or Mayor? To a civility of spirit, to accepting one another’s good intentions, to acknowledging our differences yet celebrating our shared hopes for our country and our children? Even if we don’t agree with all our leader does or stands for, why the vitriolic nature of the comments?

It doesn’t have to be this way. Mahatma Gandhi taught that “We must be ever courteous and patient with those who do not see eye-to-eye with us. We must resolutely refuse to consider our opponents as enemies.” Presidential candidate Ben Carson believes, “One of those choices is to respect others and engage in intelligent conversation about differences of opinion without becoming enemies, eventually allowing us to move forward to compromise.” Former candidate Barry Goldwater understood: “To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.” And Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton says, “You can disagree with people and debate over their positions with issues without engaging in the politics of personal destruction.”  

In 1988, George H.W. Bush expressed his desire for a gentler and kinder nation. We’d all appreciate that, but now, before the next campaign cycle gets into gear, perhaps it’s time to extend a gentler and kinder spirit towards those who are willing to serve our country and our communities in civic leadership.