Nana Broke the Santa

Splashing in puddles, eating the cheese off the pizza slice, watching Bubble Guppies and Winnie the Pooh while cuddling with her Nana, and being mesmerized by snow globes – these are a few of our granddaughter’s favorite things to do. Being the semi-dutiful grandmother to the lovely Madelyn Simone, I attempt to limit the puddle-splashing, especially in February, enforce the “now you have to eat the rest of the pizza” rule, and put boundaries on television time – although not on cuddling time.

But her fascination with snow globes created a dilemma for me. Since our darling granddaughter is still quite young, only celebrating her third birthday this week, glass snow globes are not the best choice of playthings. I understand that.  But since they are one of her favorite things, I couldn’t stop myself – a few weeks before Christmas, I purchased a Santa snow globe for her room (not a wise decision, but what’s a grandmother to do?)

I told Madelyn we’d keep it on her dresser and only take it down when Nana was there.. We talked about how we had to be very careful with the Santa, as it could break easily. One December afternoon, we lifted the Santa from the dresser and carried it to the living room couch, where we twisted the music key and listened to Jingle Bells as the ‘snow’ fluttered around Santa. Before we knew what was happening, the precious snow globe slipped out of ‘our’ hands and crashed to the floor, sending water and splinters of glass across the room. 

Madelyn was terribly upset by our accident, and kept announcing “Nana broke the Santa.” When her mother came home, she ratted me out.. “Nana broke the Santa.” She told her dad, her uncles, and her Pop-Pop. Good thing she’s not on Facebook. Talk about feeling guilty . . .

The subjects of blame, shame, responsibility and guilt are common themes that many people struggle with over the course of a lifetime.  How difficult it is to take full responsibility for our own actions. Our reflexive reaction is to find someone to blame – our parents, the dog, or even the old stand-by, “the devil made me do it.” To be able to say, “I broke the Santa” is an important step in maturing as an individual. Since I did share the blame for the Santa’s demise, I was willing to be the bad guy in this traumatizing scene. Yes, Nana broke the Santa.

The story doesn’t end there, for Madelyn also had a small butterfly snow globe on her dresser. Yes, you can guess where this is going. I let Madelyn hold it, and she was very careful, but when it was time to return it to a safe place, Madelyn defiantly grabbed it away from me, and it flew out of her hands, crashing to the floor in a replay of the Santa mishap. Her first reaction was to define her own narrative – “Nana broke the butterfly.” While Madelyn has no idea who President Dwight D. Eisenhower is, she instinctively knew the truth of his statement: “The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions.” But I understood that to absolve this little girl of the responsibility for her actions in this scenario was the worst thing I could do. No, Madelyn, while Nana may have had a hand in the breaking of the Santa, you broke the butterfly.

More than two months later, with a replacement butterfly sitting on her dresser, we go over the same litany in every conversation and phone call. Madelyn says: “Nana broke the Santa, Mademyn broke the butterfly – we be veeeeery careful with the butterfly.” You’ve got it, my darling girl. Accidents do happen, as do deliberate acts that cause harm, and the best way to respond, long before you’re caught, is “If you mess up, ‘fess up.” I’m glad she’s getting the personal responsibility part down pat, an important life lesson to be sure.  – now we have to work on what it means to forgive and forget.